unbelievably truth

i was cleaning my room last night. which is so NOT me. Basically only cleared the bookshelf. The around 16yrs old 3ft high blue shelf suitable for Kindergarten Kids. I was a kid by then when my dad bought me that shelf. We've gone through a lot together. From our first meeting to getting thru Kindy thru to Primary thru to Secondary and now Tertiary and way beyond.

i found a few diaries of mine back in the 1997 when then Asian Financial Crisis hits the SEA Countries . I was reading just a few sheet and i felt so small tht time. So much so simple and what i wrote.

"Go to school....was late for school and didn't pick rubbish cus for some reasons not written clearly in my diary. Then ate Char Bee Hoon during recess time. Go home after that. Took a bus home. Watch TV and Do Homework. Dinner then Sleep!"

I could feel the sillyness of this diary entry. But when i read it, it felt funny and had real time laughing.

More often that not it's these small small things that reminds us of everything. Brought back the nostalgia. Which often left untouch in our memories when time passes by. Slowly and gradually we forgot about them. *erased* it is.

i often thought sensitivity does tell certain things in their own way. And usually my sensitivity gave me shit. More than half of the time at least! because usually the moment i knew it.....I realised it was a joke.

it has been long and when i finally have a grasp of everything and moved myself forward it came back. and it's always in this hours that i felt the same way. How things had happened and what!

Life' SAD! To some ppl Life's Wonderful. To certain ppl life can be very wonderful if they have food. Some thought it's heaven if they have someone who are always by their side. Some may think it's Great if they have Bestest Friends. Those are totally different expectations set upon. Have you ever thought what are your expectations? Work hard now earn money and buy your dream car ? a BMW 7 Series? hold a few landed title and wait for rentals to come in every month to fund your living? Retire young and rich? or have a decent family with 2 kids, 2 cars and 1 landed title?

Oh shit what am i talking about now. I think i swaying away. It wasnt what i wanted to say but since i'm here just let this be.

One unbelievable truth is When you feel happy at that moment you feel like maintaining it but at the same time you feel like it's crucial to seek the truth but once you found it the happiness could be gone. Isn't this a dilemma? A contradiction too...

I hope there are takers for this entry otherwise i think i'm turning to a weirdo in the house.