some say....who say?

The Rose by Bette Midler

Some say love, it is a river, that drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor, that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower, and you, its only seed

Its the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance
Its the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance
Its the one who won't be taken, the one who can't seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember that in the winter, far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed, that with the sun's love in the spring becomes the rose.

I've finished watching The Rose last night. Despite the cryings by "Pai He" it was a good drama. Good for people who thinks that they are ugly and who lacks of confidence. Relationships are complicated. So complicated that sometimes u think that they are all entangled. Sometimes it's hard to explain as it is. Hard to understand if the story left unexplained too. I have no idea how is this thing gonna be working too. We shall see.
Anyway i have written out quite a number of overdue testimonials for some of my friends. It did not take a lot of my time though. So happy that i manage to pen down a few words for them. Today i did not do much but watching a new drama serie. Now lazying around friendstering and blogging while waiting for a friend's phone call. I wonder when will my phone ring. aih....cus i am damn sleepy right now. hmm....i shall continue my drama watching marathon.

eSor

I started watching the Rose last week and i am still watching it until today. I bet it was because i was too busy with my friend's visit here. She left just now and i guess she should have reach Melbourne by now.
Yesterday was a better day than the day before that. We went to Tea Inn for lunch and went for a stroll at the University of NSW. Then we set off to La Perouse. It was further than Maroubra. La Perouse is fantastic. For those of u whom like to be romantic whilst having ur loved ones side by side, La Perouse is an ideal place. If only i have one..........I think it may be ages from now to find one......I miss that place. After La Perouse we set off to Bondi Beach for pork ribs at Hurricane's Grilll. I think i'm quite sick of pork ribs especially when i just ate it not long ago during Matthew's farewell.
This morning i woke up early for breakfast and we went to Pitt St mall for some shopping. I bought a few tops. I just thought that my CF is running that low that i couldnt resist buying.How sad! I gotta be stopping myself now. Then i brought SinHuei to tryout the Harry's Pie and then to Krispy Kreme. Hahah again yea..she bought 2 dozens altogether! Wow! Hahahah....fattening my dear. Anyway, then we came back to get her luggage and then to the Central Station. She caught herself to the airport by train. Ta..da......Take Care my friend. One week's gone and it's so damn fast. This Sunday she will be back in Penang. I shall see her this January when i'm back.

Later Entry....
It struck my mind when i was watching a drama. The main actor likes to drink because he wants to forget what has happened in the past. I wonder why people drink. A few days ago we were talking about why people drink. My friend drinks to sleep better. Some of my friends drink because they are sad. Some drink because they are happy. Some of them drink because they wanna get high. Some said for fun. Some said to celebrate. What about me? I feel like drinking suddenly. What's wrong with me? For what reasons? That lies beneath for me to find out.

rehTie

although time has been passing so slowly lately but my friend's holiday here has come to an end. Surprisingly one week has passed and i still feel it's like ages but my friend's visit here is like a blink. I duno how to describe this. Fast yet slow. Physically weak for the past few days cos i had a lot of walking and sightseeing around Sydney. Yesterday we stayed in, the reason being it was windy and rainy. *finger's crossed* hope that the weather is fine today. will be heading to fox's studio and the beaches later and again to the natural disaster restaurant.
Sadly, my cash flow is not running just low but it's LOW! I desperately need a job. I need money to survive. 10 days has just passed but it seemed so long to me.....and i am patiently waiting for it to happen or in fact for it to be over. Results is coming out real soon. I am so so worried! I have to pass. I desperately need to pass.
I think this stage in my life is in the stage of desperation. needing of a job, monies,passes in exams and happiness...Where are they? When can i find it? How to find them? Some questions have been answered but some are still in the process of exploration.

Ffo

My friends are setting off for a holiday@ Tasmania just now. Wishing them Happy Holiday and Safe Journey. Me here gonna be planning my friend's holiday in Sydney. Gotta go to Super Bowl later for a breakfast and walk around the city and see what can we grab from there.

After the phonecall the other day i realised something. Something that now it's quite vague.I don't know; speechless actually. Bored although i have some much to do.

~bling

eCnaLbmeSer

Last night we went to try the cheese fondue at Neutral Bay. Although the menu is misleading and no doubt it's very expensive BUT it was good. My perception before eating it was "the cheeziness" but it all turned out good. I shall say i like it better than chocolate fondue from Max Brenner. But it relates to my cash flow issue. Current cash flow is running low already. Still looking for a job currently. I really hope to find a casual job soon. Otherwise i will be starving when i have no more funds available. arrghh....life is so so hard. So much to think about and especially to make words into action. It has never been easy to do something that i have to that will affect the rest of my life. This poem describes my feelings best and i am sure to most people who is facing the same dilemma.

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost 1920

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Do i take the path less travelled by? I think i would!The path seems to be rocky and winding but i think i have to overcome it in any way and i should try to use all the strength i have to fulfil it.

One week has just passed but to me it is like ages. This few days has been hard. It is moving so slow that i thought it was weeks ago but it's was just a week. Now i began to understand how sometimes people feel over these. Today makes me feel like the first day i step in Sydney. Yes...this is the weather. The weather that i favour over; when it is windy and cloudy. Start to miss things already. Those that i have been doing and not do this 2 years. I regretted not appreciating the time i had this year. I should have done something more than that. When now it's too late, what i can do is to do nothing but blogging. :'(

Currently listening to Collide by Howie Day again. Play count - 738

GniWs

my mood have been swinging these few days. for some reason i havent had enough sleep,going out too much and thinking too hard. AGM is supposed to be held later and i hope they would be able to settle things out. thinking too hard about all these as well as some other stuff like my ladder. where should i start it i have absolute no idea. what should i do i have an rough idea but arrghhh...i guess i should enjoy my chinese new year first and think about it thoroughly. so so much to think about. friends, family, career, life and love maybe. but everything evolves around love. and to the new pair hahaha i know! and i wish u guys all the best.

could not think of anywhere to blog about!yea before i forget i was traumatized last night(sadly i have to use this word) when i thought it was that simple but it wasn't. expect the unexpected!!!
*smacks herself on the wall and reminding herself to expect the unexpected*

~bling

enoG

I woke up today feeling empty. Just a few days ago W left. Today Z left. 2 days later H is gonna leave too. Z and I have being staying in the same apartment for 2 years. We are kinda close to each other and i appreciate our housemate bonding (hahaah). Not just that laaa.....friendship too. She's a good friend and a good housemate and no doubt for that. She may appear weird sometimes but who isnt weird. Everyone has their good side and bad side of the picture. I am weird i admit, but i don't know how weird am I. It's good to find it out. Might be going to the beach later to SOL. Spill everything out if i could. But a bit paiseh cus if i wanna SOL i have to find a good spot otherwise the strollers on the beach may think that i am insane. Whatever it is i have to go and pom pom and do some washing AGAIN! arrrgghh..!

~bling~

Why?

There are so many questions that i wish to ask.But most of the answers to these questions are ambiguous. Some of them are my past experiences. Some of them are what i've seen others have encountered

ex-post regrets and ex-ante regrets. No matter what u do, u regretted of either doing it or not. Why? Secondly, when some people are around you, you may have not appreciate their presence that much and when someone has to leave you start to feel sad, remorse over not appreciating their presence when doing it now is hard because time flies. Why? Thirdly, some people are decisive that they know what's best and what's not and that there are some who are always in doubt whether to commit in something or not to. Thinking about it to and fro, front and back. Often they do not make a wise decision out of it. Why? Then, there are certain people whom have feelings (good or bad) may not have the guts to tell the counterparty. Why? Nevertheless, there are some people who wants to do something but arent sure of what they wanna do because they are unsure about their feelings. Feelings like holding back, but at the same time could not afford to waste a chance, thinking of letting time to tell. Why?Lastly, there are certain people that when they are so into each other that sometimes may not be together for some reason which god knows what. Why?. Last but not the least, there are people whom think that they may let time tell if in any way they can be together later which as a consequence of incapability to put aside this commitment. Why? Does time really tell?

I do not know. I love letting time tell, because i think this is the only way or in fact the best way. I have more questions to ask as days pass by but what i could do is just keep it deep inside my tender heart. I have not been doing good lately mentally.I'm not saying that i am crazy or what but this is how i feel. There so many conflicting issues to think about, contradicting issues to tackle, taking up commitments and compromising. What does all these takes?
Honestly I Don't Know!
I am still finding the way out of this. and i guess to most of you who are reading this u may feel the same way too because we have something in common. We are homosapiens.

all down!

Finally, i am done!
All done!
But i have mixed feelings
When i came out from the examination room, i had a very strange feeling which may be undescribe-able by words and i am sure u have to experience it.
Just right after exam we went to the city for a walk on Pitt St Mall while waiting for the "floor" to pick us up to the Natural Disaster Restaurant. Bwahahaaaha.....the dinner was for his farewell. I wish him all the best and Take Care. I will see the floor again i guess :p
and hmmm i took some pictures with the rabbits cus most of them are leaving tomorrow and they came over to my place to have a look whilst had a bit of talking.

2 down

So sick of studying now especially my banking text because i have been going through it and god knows how many times. (i lost count actually)
but i am still very very scared!

Yesterday's paper was okay. I'm crossing my fingers and i think i will be able to get a C. God will bless me!
Part 1 was MCs it wasnt hard.
Part 2 was short questions which is not very easy.
Part 3 last question was common sense. I make some shots on my scripts though. I hope i could get through my tradings.

just came back from lunch and i am now getting back to study.
the time has come and it's gonna be over soon.
when now it's the time where some people may leave.
when is my turn? soon soon to come. which i could foresee how would it be.

everything needs to begin and reach its end...why is it so?
when there's an end to something, usually ended sadly.
might it because we are afraid to let go?
might it because we are afraid of changes?
might it because we are not realistic?

although i have gone through so much, i have not reach the stage where i could take things lightly. Like it or not, i have to let go. I lay the rest to time because i trust time. Time will prove everything. I hope whatever that comes may be the ones that are norms.

strange feelings comes and go. i certainly hope that it will fade away soon. to those of u too be tough!

to those of who is reading this u may think that i am someone who hardly let go things. That's right! Although recently i have blogging about this it doesn't mean that i have not let it go. It's just because i wanna express myself otherwise i could have turn to my diary. (i supposed i should do so;because u might think i'm long-winded)but i think it quite reasonable to mention it here that i think most of u should let go some things in life because we have to move on and yea whather happens, happens for a reason. Hoping that u have learned your lesson and know how to weigh the benefits versus the cost associated with something that u have done.

I will officially end my term in the University of Sydney tomorrow the 17th November 2005 and hoping to graduate next June. I will leave Sydney on the 21st of January 2006 for good!
To those who is leaving for their summer break take care and enjoy your holidays.
Thanks for your interest.

crap! all crap!

my friend said this to me
i lose weight. u know how i know? I feel cold. That means i have less fat to burn! @.@ OMG.
So ridiculous! argh.....i will continue the rest tomorrow

bling is off to bed( switching the lights off)

full with trading facts

I'm quite dizzy now and god knows what i am typing. Try not to make any typos here.
Just finish reading my undescribe-able course content for finance. A 3 cm thick hard cover book with 600 over pages of 29 chapters now on my head! So eager to spill it out of my brain!
actually i am kinda scared! :( *bling is crossing her fingers*

let's talk about replies since a friend of mine brought it up and recently i have had experience about replies too. let's see a few scenarios here.

1. u send a few lines but the person replies u with a line.

2. u send a message and it takes ages for that person to reply.

3. u send a message and right after u (i should change it to I cus it's what i encountered) I click on the send tab the person who is supposed to reply called.

4. i send a message, the person takes ages to finish typing a word. ( i wonder if they type with only 2 fingers ?)

5. i send a message and that person takes ages to reply and yea the replies comes at least in the interval of 12 hours with a phone call. ( hmm...)

6. i send a message and that person replies with bad words.

7. i have friends who is always on away mode when in fact they are not away. i have friends who is always on busy mode even when they are not at home *i'm puzzled*

8. Sometimes i think msn should come out with more status tabs. haha...

9. and yea....i duno why am i talking about this

10. i should go to bed! i think i lost my mind. nite

bling~

od toN

Give and take
Don't just take
Otherwise give more and expect less
Do not always think that you are the best among the best
Do not always think you are wiser
Do not always wait for people to tell you what to do
Do not always wait for people to ask you
Do not always wait for people to persuade you
Do not always contradict yourself
Do not always conflict yourself

Is that enough?

わたしいわかなしです。

おはようございます！
どうしてテストいますか。
どんなテスト？
なんでよ？
どしたのクラスのいますか？
わたしわかなしいです！
ときどきあなたわわたしのおもうです。
わたしわわかりませんです！
すきなですか？
だいきらいですか？
わかりませんです！
あさごはのたべました。
コヒおのみますか？
いええ。。。
おちゃおのめました。

明日私の友達とチョニュ,イエンヴォン,ミンィ,ィムテク 試験があるといます！
がんばて！ごおどぅゥク！

Do not need to understand the above in Nihongo blog. Just feel like typing in Jap tht's all!
Hahhaha.......need to get back to the stock market! Chao....

codes codes!

from e-kimochi.blogspot.com

wais ntfe toel knin owgt whod atay kt??

stcossus & refueded - gungty & huilry - crsopy & rrapow - holole & pestss - stscid & aruped.

want to know how is kt feeling today??

stressed & confused- guilty & hungry - crappy & sorrow --hopeless & lost- stupid & scared

from englishvonne.blogspot.com

SAFAYAGA MEPOSETIED RAGEJIRENED BERFAUSAEDHAGH

Saya Mesti Rajin Berusaha

I hope i got it right! ~Bling!

yDuolc

today's weather is once again the ideal weather to ME and also to those who like this type of weather. It may look moody to some people who doesnt like it but. I think it's not moody at all. This is the ideal time where I and kick back and relax at home while watching tv or worst sleeping*. It can be a good day for a stroll on the beach . It's best when I have a pet dog that i can stroll together on the sandy beach with some surfers on the waves and some children building sandcastles.
But today, with that weather i coincide it with my studies in Economics because may battle officially starts tomorrow. Need lots of luck. Trying to catch up with all my friends like Todaro,Lewis,Harrod and plenty more. They are those people who came out with so much ideas that people like me needs to live behind their shadows. hmm...doesnt matter it's gonna be over soon.

A friend told me that he migh defer his degree for 2 years and god knows why he have no choice but to defer it. Hell with that reason. It may look particularly good to half of the population i supposed but forcing isnt the same volunteering. It ridiculous. I hope he could enjoy himself there and hope he would not become someone that is so typical of the nation. (as far as i am concern).I guess he might be the exceptional case. He sounded not willingly to me but to go with it because with the reasons he told me i think it's the time for him to defer it too. But, i duno.What i can do is to wish him luck and take care.

back to my books...

べんきょします

most of us are kinda busy recently busy preparing for the final exams. To those who tend to procrastinate

Hard Work pays off in future, Laziness pays off now!

So better make sure you STUDY NOW! NOW ! RIGHT AWAY! DON'T 8!!

I have finished reading my Trading text (so relieved)and I guess i could go to the ASX and try to trade some stocks. Hehehe.....
Better dont i feel, before i attempt my exam paper in 2 weeks time. The feedback reveals whether i am a futile trader or an utilitarian trader.
but there are still a lot to do: my tute work, transaction cost work, developing the economy text and tute as well as my banking procedures.arggh..whatever with it err bla!

Hmmm before i forget...
The story about the parcel my dad sent over!IT actually reached Sydney on the 24th of OCT. Guess what i have been looking for that particular small red slip from POST for the pass few days like an idiot. Lost count how many times did the sun rises and sets. And i dun wish to know how many.
Just now i was talking to my sister, she said the parcel should be here by now. And yea i told her i will go and have a look at the pigeon hole at the Resource Centre. So...in the pigeon hole labelled L obviously, lies a small red slip hidden behind few other letters. The bizarre thing is that,written on the slip : this is the final notification ; and the parcel WILL be send back to the sender if it is not collected within 5 working days! God knows which idiot or bastard overlook my slip or took my slip. What the hell....

uh..1 minute spent angry is 60 minutes wasted on happiness. Chill!
I was listening to this song yesterday while i was fishing attentively and i think it's quite meaningful. see this

how can i change the world
cos i sure can't change your mind
where's the miracle i need now
got to get to you somehow
cos i can't change the world.


lalaalalalalala........let's sing a song....

bling~~

Some Say........

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed

Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need

I say love, it is a flower
And you its only seed

It's the soul afraid of dreaming,
That never learns to dance

And the soul afraid of waking,
That never takes the chance

It's the one, who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give

And the soul afraid of dying,
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long

When you feel that love is only
For the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow

Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose

laCinyC

I wanted to tune my time last night. I regretted having a nap which forces me not being able to sleep. Not just tht i could not adjust my biological clock. And i woke up at 2. 2pm! So so ridiculous. and almost every other day i could sleep only once the sun rises. I managed to find out a moment ago that i wasnt that mad after all. someone lose their mind more than i do. My friend just woke up at 11.45 and its PM! Hmm.......he said "i duno i just couldnt sleeep during the night"
Oh.....hopefully he could adjust his time back during exams.

But i am half way through my tradings now. Another 10 Chaps to go which i am confident i could beat it. On top of tht i think i can do some tutorials revision too. I shall see what goes tomorrow when i fish.

Talking about infatuations a friend was asking why are there so much love phenomenas around especially on ppl's msn nicknames. Like i know the answer. I seriously don't know why their nicknames has things to do with true hearts( in mandarin) but i know what my nick implies.
To things that happen lately to most of my friends. Had my spare time listening to their problems and tried giving them advices. Mayb i should apply to work in some of the major consulting groups like the BCG or McKinsey, but those are business consulting firms. Or err....actually i'm thinking too much.

So much to talk about: friendship, family, love and..... at least these is the important ones that i could recall.

Love originates from friendship. 1st we are friends. slowly we become close friends, then we start to know each other more in depth and that's when feelings starts to develop. There are friends whom we know we might be suitable for each other and friends whom we know we can only be friends. FOr those who can be suitable, may become less suitable later on . For those who found suitability may move on and lead their path together. Those who found the latter may end up in a disaster. So does anyone get the point at all?

When we have invested much feelings inside we feel it's sad to let go. If we choose to hold on we conflict ourselves.(in a dilemma for ppl whom i know) The worst thing is when realising there isn't enough time to even invest more feelings deep down inside. Shall it continue or discontinue or shall we just say "Hang on.....the chance is out there. I'm sure the time will come."

Geminians Today

Plan your moves carefully today, dear Gemini, and have patience with the people around you. If you are working with others, be sure that they are on the same page with your goals and aims and that they are not somehow working counter to your purposes. It could be that someone is acting, or reacting on misinformation that is creating conflict with your thoughts and feelings. Do a reality check before walking out the door.

~My Yahoo!~